


Lay My Head

by ErwinDaijoubu



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Flustered Levi Ackerman, I'm Sorry, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Pining, Shingeki no Kyojin Chapter 84: Midnight Sun Spoilers, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan Season/Series 03 Spoilers, Soft Erwin Smith
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-17 06:32:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29837466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ErwinDaijoubu/pseuds/ErwinDaijoubu
Summary: Levi knew he wasn’t the one in control in this situation. He may have been looking over his commander, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to push Erwin away especially when the man looked so delicate and soft beneath him.
Relationships: Levi Ackerman/Erwin Smith
Comments: 6
Kudos: 67





	Lay My Head

**Author's Note:**

> A self-indulgent, self-soothing piece of i-don't-know-what just because I am obsessed with Erwin Smith and watching S4 makes me miss him soooo much )": I couldn't get this mental image of soft!Erwin outta my head. Something about big bulky men and their love for delicate things just make me arghfhewhfhwfhw.
> 
> Also i'm so sorry for the ending but.. it pains me just as much as you I swear

If anyone had walked into the commander’s office at that time, nothing would have been amiss. This was a common occurrence in the room. Erwin seated behind his desk, paperwork sprawled messily before him. The flickering light from his oil lamp casting orange over his furrowed eyebrows as his eyes bore holes into the words before him.

Usually in that state of concentration, his elbows would already be propped up onto his table and fingers pressed against his temples. One may think that the pin drop silence would be an indication that the commander was working alone but that was rarely the case.

As Erwin silently deliberates strategies and formations, his captain would regularly be adjacent to him. Levi had grown accustomed to the left side of the brown leather sofa in the room. A comfortable silence hung in the air as the raven-haired man sipped his tea and stared absentmindedly into the oakwood panels in the walls, letting his mind ease after a grueling day of meetings with the other squad leaders, running drills with the idiotic recruits, and hollering at his squad for slacking during the mid-day heat.

Levi can’t remember when exactly Erwin and he had fallen into this rhythm almost every night. He was never a good sleeper, usually getting in 4 hours of sleep on a good day, which were close to none. Most nights he would find himself restless and frustrated at his inability to sleep, but once a week he would report to his commander’s office after dinner to update him on the week’s task and progress of his squad. Once the formalities were out of the way, Erwin would brew a pot of black tea for Levi and invite him to take a seat on his sofa while he ran by his ideas and unraveled his tangled up ball of thoughts with him.

Most of the time, Levi would sip his tea and listen attentively as the blue-eyed man passionately spoke about whatever was running through his mind a hundred miles an hour. Occasionally Levi would struggle to keep up as Erwin processed his cacophony of thoughts, but often, he was impressed by the intellect the older man displayed, making sense of all the confusions and unknowns thrown at them.

Levi never spoke unless Erwin asked him a question or sought his perspective, because he knew that most of the time, Erwin just need an outlet to articulate his thoughts and he would come to the best conclusion all on his own.

In the early days of this occurrence, Levi felt that others would probably be able to contribute more to the commander’s needs. Strategies and formulations were never really his thing, preferring to exercise brute strength and taking orders from the man he trusted with his life. However, Erwin never once made him feel like he was useless in the conversation and by the time Levi left his office late in the night, the taller man would thank him and reiterate time and time again how big of a help Levi was that evening.

The captain also knew that with the recent discoveries of titan shifters amongst their midst, the number of people the commander could trust had grown grimly thin, and if Erwin needed someone to safely confide in, it was the least he could do. He would be lying to himself if he said that it was all done out of duty to his commander, the younger man had grown fond of his regular tête-à-têtes with Erwin, enjoying his company as much as the other enjoyed his. He had become increasingly aware of the warmth and coziness he felt whenever he was with Erwin, but he always pushed those thoughts away hastily before they could ever betray him.

Not long after their first few weekly reporting, Levi found himself knocking on the commander’s office door after dinner and washing up, with the excuse of Erwin being the only one with a decent collection of tea leaves. Erwin’s face would light up when he saw Levi (was that it or was it just his usual politeness?) and a smile would break out as he gently humored Levi’s obvious excuse, knowing his captain would take a seat on his sofa instead of retreating to his own room after taking some of his tea. Before either of them knew it, this became their routine about three times a week.

Thus, this night was no different from the rest. After Erwin had sought his captain’s opinion on the upcoming supply run happening in 2 weeks, he was staring at his proposal in full concentration while Levi sipped his tea. When the bottom of his cup could be seen, Levi reached to his left to pour himself another cup when he noticed his commander’s head nodding up and down, his eyes closed. He sneered without any distaste towards the other man seeing him work himself to death.

“Oi, if you’re gonna sleep, you should just go to bed. You’re gonna get your slobber all over your proposal.”

Erwin’s eyes blinked open in mild surprise like he hadn’t realized that he had dozed off. He took a few seconds to take in his surroundings before breathing a loud sigh and rubbing his face in his hands.

“I can’t” the older man groaned, “I need to get this proposal to Zackly in two days, and I haven’t been able to come up with a viable route to counter the muddy terrain.” The rain had been unexpected this time of year, causing Erwin to have to backtrack and make last minute amends to his plans.

“Well at least take a break. Let me speak for everyone when I say that it would be in our best interest if we knew you didn’t make these new plans while you were braindead and with drool running down your chin.” Levi said flatly.

Erwin chuckled at Levi’s curtness which he took no offense with, learning quickly over time that his dry sense of humour was something that tickled Erwin rather than offended him. “I guess you’re right..” he said contemplatively, chin rested on the palm of his right hand.

Levi noticed Erwin staring blankly at the lower part of his body. _Was there something on his shirt?_ He looked down to find his button down as crisp and clean as ever. Erwin stood up and Levi took that as his cue to replenish his empty cup of tea, assuming his companion was going round to his spirits cabinet to get himself a glass of whiskey like he usually would. However, the taller man walked resolutely to the other end of the sofa and sat with a straightness that was almost comical.

“What the fuck’s up with y-“ Levi started but quickly changed to “oi oi oi what the fuck are you doing??” as he witnessed the tower of a man slowly falling sideways onto Levi’s lap. Levi quickly lifted his cup of tea in time to avoid spilling it and scaling his commander’s face. He was met with no reply from the other. Instead, Erwin propped his legs onto the sofa into a fetal position and rested his head on his captain’s lap like it was the most normal thing in the world. His eyes were closed, and he held his hands against his chest.

Levi gawked at the man below him for a few seconds before setting his tea aside onto the small table beside the sofa which held the matching pot. “What are you? One of the brats? You know your head’s almost as big as one of those dumb looking titans right? You’re heavy!” Levi protested, feigning confidence while his heart beat wildly in his chest. Would he be able to feel that? Levi panicked in his mind, fearing that his body would betray him. Erwin, however, paid no mind to what Levi said and just nuzzled his nose against Levi’s thigh and hummed in response.

A flush of red rose from Levi’s chest to his ears and he thanked the gods that Erwin was facing outwards and couldn’t see him flustering like a damsel in front of her betrothed. What should he do with his hands? He realized his arms were still awkwardly raised above Erwin’s body like he was about to play the drums. Should he rest his hand on Erwin’s arm? That seemed a bit too intimate and endearing.

Levi’s mind fizzled with the different options and as if he was thinking out loud, Erwin suddenly took hold of Levi’s right wrist without opening his eyes, and placed Levi’s hand onto his golden head. _Is he really asking me to do what I think he is?_ His eyes widened with shock. Levi experimented with one light stroke of his hair and Erwin hummed again contentedly.

Levi knew he wasn’t the one in control in this situation. He may have been looking over his commander, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to push Erwin away especially when the man looked so delicate and soft beneath him. He stroked the golden locks so gently, as if cautiously petting a cat that would dart away at any second. The angle and gravity had caused Erwin’s normally neat and slicked side bangs to fall down his face, and Levi noticed how young Erwin looked like this.

Levi couldn’t help but study the face below him. Erwin’s lashes were long and a slightly darker golden than the hairs on his head, same for his bushy eyebrows. Levi was suddenly struck with a deep urge to touch said eyebrows, but he quickly suppressed that thought. The commander’s lips were slightly chapped with bits of skin peeling off, but they still looked soft as Erwin slowly breathed in and out of plush lips. Levi felt his heart exploding in adoration at the man lying on his lap and he knew that whatever vague inkling of attraction he felt towards his commander had burst into a tidal wave of warmth and _want_ he had never experienced before.

A few minutes passed like this with Erwin laying on the younger man’s lap with a hand gently caressing his hair. It could have been ten minutes or even thirty, but Levi didn’t care, time stood still as he allowed Erwin to get the sleep he desperately needed. Soon the man below started to stir, although Levi’s legs were numb at this point from staying completely still the entire time. Erwin lifted his body up with a grunt and sat at his end of the sofa, rubbing his eyes, and letting out a yawn.

“How long was I asleep for?” Erwin asked Levi softly, the sleepiness still evident in his voice.

“Too long shitty eyebrows. I can’t move my legs now.” Levi said trying to put on a scowl on his face whilst beating his legs with his fists to make a show of facilitating blood flow back into his legs. Once again unfazed by Levi’s annoyance, Erwin let out a small chuckle and looked at him apologetically and if Levi wasn’t reading it wrong, with a hint of bashfulness. “Thank you for that Levi. Admittedly your lap is a lot more comfortable than my desk would have been.” He said, standing up whilst stretching his arms over his head. Even with his torso covered by fabric, Levi could see the outlines of taut muscle as he stretched. Levi quickly looked away while his cheeks threatened to blush again.

Erwin walked back to his desk looking visibly refreshed and continued his proposal as if the last thirty minutes didn’t happen. Levi was slightly confounded by how easy and comfortable the atmosphere was again, despite his heart pounding behind his chest. Little did Levi know that this new activity would be a new addition to their regular routine.

\---

“He has already left us..”

Hange uttered shakily as she closed the eyelids of her commander to cover the lifelessness in his once vibrant blue eyes.

“I see.” Levi whispered, bringing his knees up to his chest to keep himself from falling apart. From his periphery he could hear the shouts and cries of his squad as they zipped and maneuvered to their blonde-haired friend who was shifting back into human form in a pillar of smoke. However, everything was silent to him as he looked at the lifeless form of his commander, partner, and lover.

He felt a gentle squeeze on his shoulder and heard his new commander zip away to the younger soldiers, leaving him alone with the still body next to him. He was thankful for Hange’s perceptiveness and giving him some time alone with the man he loved, but he was also left with an unbearable cloud of loneliness once she was gone.

A small breeze picked up and fluttered Erwin’s bangs which had become disheveled since the last time he saw Erwin as he knelt before him and told him to die to his dreams. Levi scooted himself carefully towards Erwin, trying not to slip and slide down the roof beneath him. He used what strength he had left after his exhausting encounter with the beast titan to lift his lover’s shoulders and laid his head on his lap.

Levi gently brushed golden locks away from his forehead and stroked the undercut right above the man’s left ear, which was a particular favourite spot of Erwin’s. After countless times of cradling the blue-eyed man on his lap, whether for a short reprieve from his tiring paperwork, or just a drunken show of affection while coming down from their post-intimacy high, Levi had memorized the exact way his lover liked his hair to be played with and the spot on Levi’s thighs that were the most comfortable for him.

As he stroked his hair tenderly and looked at his face. He noticed an expression that he rarely saw on the solder’s face even in good times. It was peace, and it sure looked beautiful on Erwin’s face. Levi managed a small smile as the tear that was blurring his vision stained Erwin’s cheek. He steadied his breath and whispered softly, as quietly as he did in the past when he muttered sweet confessions to his lover without wanting to wake him.

“Sleep well, my commander.”

**Author's Note:**

> I know Floch is missing from the final scene but I DONT GIVE A


End file.
